Because He's Here

As you have noticed, most of my stories in my blog are kind of a "senti". But this time, I'll share to you something different. It actually happened last saturday, November 26, 2005, when I was at school for the intramurals, it seems like I'm just naturally happy, contented and most of all having a good time . . with my new friends and kadas. . . and my bestie.

When we say bestie, what comes in our mind is that he is the one beside you when you need him and comforts you always, gives or offers help if needed, and always teases you with a smile, am I right? That's my bestie, we started calling ourselves besties. . . . that was September 22, 2005 at Caliraya Re - Creation Center.

The most shocking thing for my classmates was that when he usually kisses me at my cheeks . . but for us it normal as a bestie greeting and whatsoever. So they usually tease us and saying "You two act as real couples . . " Oh well, just go with the flow right? Yes, indeed I'm happy at my current situation.

I can now feel the feeling which you're just contented and everything seems to be fine and I guess I felt true happiness because he's here . . . :) I actually like him . . :) (blush)

The Day That My Wish Came True . .

In the afternoon of November 11, 2005, I was with my friend then we decided to go into the gates of our school and take a walk inside. Kenneth was going in too. She already had entered the school gates when I was left behind for even though I attempted to go in but the guard won't let me in. Then I just said "Dito na nga lang ako!!!" then stood beside him, he smiled and told me "Pasaway ka rin eh!" Then we laughed and waited for our chance to go in, he was about to close the gate to keep me out of school when I shouted "Sasarahan mo pa ako eh!!!" . .

That short moment may be nothing for others but for me it was a dream come true for we talked even just for a short period of time that I would surely treasure.

A DreaM tHaT SeeMeD to Be a ReaLiTy . .

By the night of November 11, 2005 I was then sleeping when I just thought that I was seated in a classroom. I can still remember that I seem to be talking to someone when I found out that the guy I love, Kenneth, was seating beside me. He was then looking at me in an annoying manner when the one seated at my front said something to him ( I actually don't know who he or she was). Then, Kenneth stood up and surprisingly kissed me at my left cheek 2 times!!! And what really made me happy about my dream was that when I felt that those kisses were seem to be true . . I just hope it is really true. . for he has a girlfriend already but as you all know I really love him. Then I woke up that morning and asked my self a question "Is my dream a reality?"

C0nFuSioN . .

Last October 28 to November 6, 2005, we had our Semestral break. Those ten days of rest meant a lot in my part for those ten days were the days I had a time to think about the things to be settled, about me, about my personality, my friends and even my love life.

Even though I have a lot of things to think about and I had a lot of time to think about it, it seems like I lost a lot of time. . reading our book report entitled "The Chronicles of Narnia". I was busy then, even though happy because I had a lot of rest, still my mind won't let me rest mentally and kept on waking me during the nights of those dark and cold days.

I was thinking what should I do with my situation with two people: Kenneth and Rafael. Who seem to be important and special people for me. Rafael was the guy whom is boastful, naughty but somehow sweet and I really like him a lot. But still, the kindness and total sweetness of Kenneth and his undesputable attitude of a true gentleman makes me knock myself of my feet. He has a girlfriend already which made me stop myself from loving him of his angelic attitude. By those peaceful days, I was hunted by my memories with him for I miss everything we've been through, I miss his voice, his jokes, our communication and everything. I really missed everything else. But then still Rafael keeps me down and yet Kenneth remains for he really is better for me as other people have said.

Then I have finally decided that even though he and his girlfriend had this love that is seem to be unbreakable by strong bonds and knives cutting down the ropes binding them together, I decided to remain, remain and wait for his awakening, dreaming and believing that one day he would finally found me. People say don't find love for it will surely come but when? I have found someone I wished and dreamed to be with and if that's my case even though I have found a new one, it only means that Kenneth is the one, the only one or the only man I dream of being with for the rest of my days. Still I felt this confusion if I'm really gonna stand it for so long for I have a short time to live here on earth and to waste myself for nothing but . . I seem to be decidedly so . . .