A NiCe DaY . .

I can still recall the day wherein I told to my bro Pocholo that I'm not feeling well because. . there are not so good happenings in the retreat like me and Paeng not talking that much . . so then I bursted out in YM and telling him my true feelings towards some things around me. . . . Then he siad " I'm very sure na bukas, tatabihan ka nun agad sa seat mo." Then I told him, "Ows, then what will I do to you if hindi yun nangyari?" Then he said, "Do anything . . ", "You're the ones who said it. . " "Oh my! What have I done . . " Then we just laughed and told about our future dreams and all that.

The next day, early in the morning, I saw him, at our classroom's door, he teased me. . . then by English time. . . . miraculously, he sat beside me and we talked a lot! I said to myself . . "God! Pochi is a great uhm . . . . . Fortune teller?" . . wahahaha . . . but then later on . . I felt like the whole earth fell down on me when he said that " Luvs ko si Weia eh " . . "Shem!!! . . pero gaya nga ng sabi ng other friends ko . . pangit tingnan. . parang impossible. . . " Then . . . Lennard was teasing me about Matthew then I got angry and all that . . he said " Oy!!! Inaaway mo si bestie ah! Tara alis na tayo . . date nalang tayo . . " . . then he placed his arm over my shoulder. It was a really kilig to the MAX moment!!!! Ayeeee!!!! Then he asked me to go near him then he sat beside me again and we talked about certain things . . it was a true blessing from God that he gave me the greatest opportunity of making friends with him even just a day . . . . and I'm really blessed that's why I really love God!!!!

A Not so Fine Retreat . . .

This September 22 - 24 2005, we had our Sophomore's Retreat held at Caliraya Re - Creation Center . . . for the first time!!! At the first day . . . I don't feel better for Rafael and Mona got close in a wrong timing. . . . :( . . . The place was far more better than the Rizal Re - Creation Center but still the memories there were far more better . . . I don't know what's happening with me. . . . It could be because I don't have time with the Lord anymore . . Maybe He wants me to have more time with Him . . . All my life I never had a successful lovelife. . . . . maybe I'm not yet ready but still it causes all my pains and burdens . .

The second day was a scary day . . but fun because I experienced having a bath under the rain . . . . but then . . when I decided to take a bit of dip at the pool . . . . the first man who splashed my face with water was Rafael . . then the boys then pushed me to the pool wearing my casual attire. . . civilian!!!!! With jeans and all that!!!! What an experience it is. . . . but then when I changed into a swimming attire . . . and got to the pool . . later on I got cramps and it was the worst ever. . . then later on . . Rafael got unconscious for he experienced too much cold temperature . . I was really shocked and all of us got silent and all that . . . he got unconscious right exactly at the time I left him . . . . at the staircase of the pool . . .

Then when I got out of the pool I got cramps for the second time!!!! And I cried . . cried because of too much pain . . . because of the cramps but also because my friends. . or what I thought of as my real and best friends. . left me alone with people whom I never thought of never leaving me in that time of pain . . I cried because they never treated me as if I was a close friend of them . . and one of them took care of the man she said to be her enemy or the man she's irritated with but if that's the case . . why did she leave me alone in that severe pain . . in exchange for Rafael's case. . . .why people leave me hanging and treat me as a rag of no use and is dirty!?!?!?! WHY??? Please answer me why!?!?! I'm just thankful that God saved Rafael from that case of his . . . also he used my jacket . . . I mean Jeki's jacket . . . :) . . but still a great pain causes me to cry every night of my life . . I can't stop it. . . good thing there are still people who are always there for me. . . but will they leave me still? . . And right now. . I felt like Rafael was irritated towards me . . . I don't know why . . but I really have a hunch about that . .

Lord I just pray that you will cleanse my heart with all the pain and anger inside me so that I may learn to forgive. . Lord I need help right know. . please forgive me for all the bad things that I've done . . . if you would please remove my pains that I may praise thee with a free and cleansed heart . . . This is what I pray to thee Lord . . please have mercy . .

My Worst Birthday . . .

This September 17, 2005 is a day wherein I supposed to be happy but what happened is the other way around. Things had not come the way that I wanted it to be . . people acted mean and never thought of what may be the consequences of taking them out. . . . I cried and cried. . I'm not feeling well at that time.

My eyes were already sore and even though we went to Libis at night with one of my friends . . . my day is still isn't complete. . . . some people forgot to greet me and all that . . . . how I wish that September 17 is September 16 . . sigh . . :(

The Last Day of My Thirteenth Year Here on Earth

Early in the morning of September 16, 2005, I felt good. I don't have any idea why. Maybe it is because it's my birthday the next day, September 17, 2005. Right at the time that I got to school, I just felt like smiling. Then he came. He was quiet. In our English subject, I was telling him "Excuse me" for I have to give something to Miss Dolotallas but then when he made a way for me . . I stepped on his foot!!!! But still I felt that something good will happen that day. We had our Science experiment. We have a free time because of our Research period. Then some boys of our class were playing "Jack and Poy with matching Suntukan" then everytime he laughs, he looks at me and so do I. I don't know but I felt that I was in heaven. By the time it was our Geometry class already, he transferred to the other side of the room, near Hazel, know the reason? . . . "cheating"!!!

But then he transferred again to the seat near me . . . . then he calls my name and said "Tiffanie, marunong ka?" I said "Kinda, bakit wala ka doon, akala ko ba makikicheating ka kay Hazel?" Then we started to talk and tell stories again. Then Jeffrey chun and Von See were playing "sapakan" and they were using their folders for the exam as their weapons against each other . . . those times were my unforgettable laughs!!!! Then Mr. Basas came in . . the test was a bit tricky but I got the highest score. . thank God for 27 over 30!!!! Then after the exam, Jeffrey chun transferred to another seat and he transferred to the former seat of Jeffrey Chun which was the seat beside me. . Take note!!! He is the one who transferred not me!!!! Then he asked me to lend him my book and we were teasing each other. . of course he can't resist of teasing me "Satomi"!!!! Then right at lunch . . I was fixing my things in my locker when he saw my RO cards sticked into my locker's door. . . then he took a look at it and said "Sa susunod pagmaglalagay ka ng card, pede yung may laman pa ha?" Then I said, " Asa ka!!!" Then he took my magnetic bear in my locker and played with it. . teasing me and all that. Then, right after Chinese time he was playing with my magnetic bear again. Good thing with that magnetic bear is that we are gettin' close with each other by means of it.

We had a P.E. then, I was the one. . he was talkin' to until dismissal, then by the time we thought we had a practice . . . he was on the place where the electric fan was in steady . . I said "Makikijoin . . pawis na ako eh . . I sat right at the front of him." And by the time I almost got home. . . I just noticed that he placed his bag beside the place where I usually placed my bag." That day was the day I called the Foot Stepping Day and The Last Day of My Thirteenth Year Here on Earth. For almost everybody greeted me an advaced Happy Birthday . . .

A Dark and Cold Night . .

I just got home and I must do the records of my groupmates for our English subject . . by that time, I've been liking someone . . someone I never thought of crushing or maybe loving? . . Then I opened his notebook, right at the first page of it. . . . I saw what I feared the greatest in my whole life. . . . the name of the girl that he likes. . . the name of the girl that I've been rival or competing with .

It hurts to admit it but it seems that all the people that I loved always leave me hanging . . letting me sleep with tears in my eyes. . letting me fall for nothing at all . . .that's why this dark and cold night, I wanted to cry and burst out for everything's seem to be my fault. . . I don't want to love anymore. . . So please take my heart away . . :(